Richard R. Buonanno
o nastily amid the peace and tranquility, and remember what
satisfaction there may be in genocide. As far as possible, without
surrender, move into other people's space. Lie often, and loudly; and
listen to the lies of others, even the slow and incompetent -- examples
can be made of them later.
Seek out meek and inoffensive persons; they
are annoying, but fun to kill. Do not bother comparing yourself to others;
those greater than you will eventually be eliminated, and those lesser
than you are dead already. Fart in airlocks.
Assasinate your superior as
quickly as possible; your own career, however exalted, is not worth a plugged
millo if one of your junior officers gets it over your dead body. Exercise
caution if one of your course changes suddenly produces a sensor ghost; for
the Galaxy is full of Federation vessels. But let this not blind you to the
happier side of things; many Starship captains are swaggering, tin-plated
dictators with delusions of godhood, and everywhere life is full of
incompetence. Advance yourself. Especially do not feign meanness, neither
be cynical about hate; you are not likely to run out of either.
Take kindly
the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the joys of defenestration
and evisceration for more mature pleasures. Nurture a deep-seated suspicion
of small furry creatures that purr; you never can tell. File your teeth
regularly. Discipline is important; practice holding it in between planetfalls.
You are a scourge of the universe, no less than your
average interstellar
plague or black hole; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is
clear to you, no doubt the Universe is going to pieces in a most laudable
manner.
Therefore do your utmost to annoy the Destroyer, however you may
conceive of Him, Big Bang or Entropy Death; and whatever your plans of
conquest, as you wade through the morasses of peace with fire and sword,
annoy your soul.
With all its truth, high resolve, and courage, the world
still has its ugly spots. Be thoughtless. Strive to be miserable.
FOUND SCRATCHED ON THE ENERGY BARRIER AROUND THE GALAXY; STARDATE 2932.4
Copyright 1975 by Lioncale Enterprises
Richard R. Buonanno